Brandi Thomas

December 2024 – January 2205 Cover Woman 

When it comes to taking time for gratitude, there is a pause as if you’ve been holding your breath and then exhale it, consciously realizing the gifts all around you, at every moment or stage in your journey. Looking at life this way, the abundance is unquantifiable. Brandi Thomas has had personal and sometimes painful experiences of honing this perspective but considers it one of the core ways we can live a fuller and more grateful life. 

Growing up in Miami, Florida, Brandi describes her formative years as being in a role and gender specific household and was held to ‘strict’ standards by her mother. Her father worked long hours while her mother mostly stayed home to devote herself to raising two daughters, with Brandi being the oldest. She says she, “fell into a very responsible, nurturing role” early on, and applied this perception to herself, to her younger sister and even in her friendships and school life. “My mother’s mindset was truly that of, ‘an idle child is a devil’s workshop’ and I didn’t want to be perceived as someone who was slacking or wasn’t giving it their all in everything.” 

In our interview, Brandi and I discussed the impact parents, and mothers in particular play in the development of the individual and feminine self, and what we value and consider important as a woman. Both of her parents worked hard in everything they did, which deeply shaped Brandi’s outlook on life. It’s no surprise that she became a self-described, “over achiever,” always striving to excel and seeking new challenges to conquer. This drive was mirrored in her structured upbringing—she wasn’t allowed to participate in sleepovers or have boyfriends, and from sunup to sundown she was ‘on the go.’ 

Often, we base our sense of identity and self-worth on parental or societal expectations, focusing on outward appearances and achievements. It’s only as we grow older, with shifting perspectives that we begin to understand that our true value lies in our authenticity, resilience, and the connections we build with others. Many women can relate to the relentless ‘hustle’ culture that permeats the roles of career, motherhood, and womanhood.  In America, the pressure often feels doubled—not just do it all, but do it flawlessly, and maybe even with a little extra sparkle to outshine the rest. 

Looking back, Brandi realizes that often her mother’s method of showing love was to push her in ways that perhaps she wouldn’t have had the incentive to do on her own. However, it influenced her to become like her mother, or how her mother wanted her to be. “It does keep you confined to a narrow view of yourself and the world and who you feel you are allowed to become. As a child and teenager, I felt like I didn’t have permission to express myself and didn’t have outlets or know how to communicate that self-expression. It was hard to find my own identity.” 

Now, her perception of her mother has matured into an aspect of gratitude. Being a mother herself, she understands some of the motivation behind the strict upbringing and how mothers can sometimes project their own fears on to their children. “It wasn’t because I wasn’t good enough or worthy of her love unless I performed or adhered to her standards. I think there was fear and anxiety as she wanted to prepare me for a hard world and to prevent me from making mistakes that would derail my future. I love her for that.”

Despite any confusion or pains from childhood, Brandi knew on a deep level that her mother always loved and believed in her. On our journey, we need the way-showers in our lives that believe in us, creating ladder rungs that help us to eventually believe in ourselves. This was an essential seed that was planted, grew, and produced fruit throughout her life. It was Brandi’s mother who took her to see a life-changing event—a FAMU Marching 100 performance—when she was a high school senior. Brandi played the clarinet in both the symphonic and marching bands at Miami Springs High School (a predominately white school) but it was the more classic modalities. 

What Brandi experienced during that Marching 100 performance was soulful— “It’s hard to put into words what it was like the first time seeing and hearing an all-black band play music and to play it loud! And, to see everyone dance together. It was that freedom of self-expression I was longing for, and it lit a fire within me.” After intense, focused work and her mother (a Morris Brown College band alumni) connecting Brandi with the FAMU band director, she become a student and member of the FAMU Marching 100 nine months later. 

During that first year at FAMU, Brandi says, “It was an amazing culture shock and a release of my emotions, but it was very hard learning a new style of marching, and all the music is memorized, with a different show every game. That is one of the beautiful things about being in the band that I’m grateful for—it pushed me to my limits and showed me what I was capable of.” Along with that came friendships and shared experiences that connected her to a deeper understanding of herself and confirming what she wanted to do with her life. 

To learn more about the Cover Woman and her inspiring journey, you can access the full article by clicking on the magazine above.

Discover the Power of Connection through Tallahassee Woman Magazine

5 Reasons why TWM is a Must-Read!